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Last week I reported about my experiences with personal ads and why it is difficult for men to get responses. Some ideas were provided to the ladies about how to sift through the emails you get. As part of my research, I went directly to the source and asked women what they look for in personal ads. Have you ever heard the saying "Men love with their eyes, Women love with their ears"?. Well not in the case of personal ads. Here is what the ladies had to say word for word:
Jessica:
The picture is always the first thing I look at but for no other reason that its most visible and bigger than the text. The profile is huge. One of my ways to eliminate is very bad grammer. If a man can't spell to well or doesn't use his words correctly Uh OH. Now I know not everyone can type so it has to be an extreme. I also stay far away from men who want a younger ( a lot younger) women. It's not right : )
I love a sense of humor in the text but I also love when they mention their family & friends. What's also huge is men who don't want a women who has a child/children. Do they know what era we live in? Do they have any idea what the divorce rate is? It may be harder to get together at times but a real man will take it with a grain of salt and if the lady is worth it........Older men love to wink or write when they are a lot older than what you are looking for. Hello people there is an age area we fill out for a reason. Oh and there are men who you don't answer ever and they keep writing and then show their annoyance in an email. These guys scare me. If you don't get an answer don't bother. This isn't a perfect world and no one likes rejection. It may be nice to send something like no thanks but not responding should be assumed that is was a "no thanks". The silent rejection/way isn't so bad is it? It happens to me and I don't get crazy over it. And, TIME come on I can't go on this damn machine everyday, I work, I go to school and I raise my son. Sure I want to meet the right person but if your looking everyday its easier to feel less fulfilled.
Sometimes this is too much work, what did his profile say again, etc, etc. Jon, Rich, Bob ??? Mama Mia. Whatever happened to the silent flirting when you see someone your attracted to. If only I would be so lucky. I hope this helps.
Stephanie:
It is CRAZY on here. I get so much mail I dont have enough time in the day to answer it all and I DO try to respond if I have interest or not in the person. Most times not......
When I get mail, I most definitely look at pic first. Most I am not attracted to. If I AM attracted to someone - I then look at location, then HEIGHT AND WEIGHT, then honestly what they do for a living.....by now I have most likely declined them. HAHAHAHAHA.
Heidi
First off let me say good luck with your column.... my response may may/not shed some light but here it is. Yes, I do get overwhelmed with emails/winks. I am by no means, complaining but nevertheless it is impossible to respond to all. Those who clearly do not read/respond to my profile generally do not get a response. ie. I say I'm looking to meet someone with 'no children' they have children (they get no response... typically). There of couse are many other reasons. One other tidbit I will share is that when I talk to someone who catches my interest I usually am not responding to others... even seemingly "perfect" for me others. And finally the last thing I will share is that many men on here simply can't take no for an answer... perhaps it's a bigger bruise to their ego? Whatever the reason aall to many feel they must re-respond with "but why?" and I don't feel like answering "but why" men tell you they hate the "no response" but I am not a fan of the 'but why' and I'd rather ignore then be mean.
Kim
Yes, I get a lot of responses. The first thing I look at is the email if one is sent, then the pics, then the profile. If there isn't any physical attraction then what's the point. Then I look at a few key areas: religion, age, education, and if they are allergic to cats, as I have 2. I am not on here to mess around, and I know the few areas that I am not willing to compromise on. If no email is sent then I might not read the profile if some of these key areas aren't in line with my wish list. I guess I am a little picky, but I didn't subscribe just for fun.