I invite you to ask your spouse 3 questions -
1)Are you happy with yourself and your life?
2)Are you happy with the marriage?
3)Are you happy with me?
Often we assume that someone will tell us if they're having a serious problem. BIG MISTAKE. People in general, including our spouses, don't want to burden us with their emotional issues - especially if they can't see a way to resolve it.
The first reason they don't share it with us is because we don't ask these questions - the message is we don't care enough, we don't want to be burdened, we are too busy with our own lives.
The second reason is because people do attempt, in somewhat circuitous ways to say something - we usually don't pick up on it, make light of it, dismiss it, tell them life's tough, nothing is perfect, etc.
Lots of feedback that says we don't want to broach these subjects.
THE DIFFERENCE BEING PROACTIVE MAKES!
If your not, what can I do to make life, marriage, me work for you? Do you think taking a real interest in the happiness of your spouse might signal that you care? And if you haven't asked these questions - most people haven't - certainly not on a regular basis - then, why haven't you?
Asking these three questions on at least a yearly basis, and having a commitment to working toward helping him or her resolve what makes them unhappy in life is certainly fundamental to growth and a great marriage.
After all, who wants to live with an unhappy person ?!?!
SOLUTION? Ask these question on a regular basis, and if you can't handle the answers by yourself look for marriage enrichment trainings and workshops.