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Understanding Women

Long Island Speed Dating; Long Island Dating; Long Island Single; Long Island Singles; Long Island Singles events Ladies: These comments are being written from the male perspective. If y

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Long Island Speed Dating; Long Island
Dating; Long Island Single; Long Island Singles; Long Island Singles events

Ladies: These comments are being written from the male perspective. If you agree and or disagree with my comments, please let me know. My goal here is to educate the guys with some real life experiences. If you would like to volunteer to write from the female perspective, please email me at

When I told some friends about what I was planning on doing, they said to just give up now. I had a better chance at winning the lottery than understanding women. Well I have made it a mission to get to the bottom of this mystery. Currently being a single guy, I can relate to some of the comments made by the guys about how frustrating it can be to understand women. Last week I posted the ten most dangerous mistakes men probably make with women (written by David DeAngelo). I downloaded and read his book and also started reading a book called The Nice Guys Guide to getting women (not finished yet). They take two very different approaches on how men should act in order to be successful with women.

It was time for me to do my own primary research so this past weekend I went out to a few bars (Luckys of Bayside, and the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale), did some observations, and interviewed several women. This will be an ongoing process so I will share with you some of my experiences each week. OH PS, most of the research indicates that meeting women in bars/clubs is not your best option.)

# 1) When you go to the bars "with the girls", are you going to just hang out, or are you open to the possibility of meeting guys.
I have heard time and time again that women go to "hang out" and guys go to "pick up".

#2) How should a guy approach you?

#3) How should a guy never approach you?

#4) What is the first thing you notice about a guy physically?

#5) What personality qualities does a man have that attracts you?

#6) How do you let a man know you are interested?

#7) If a guy acts uninterested, does it make you want him more? Does it make you say, "Why isn't he interested in me?"
(More questions and answers next week)

Karen: A gorgeous brunette, late 20's or early 30's, dressed pretty sexy, showing some skin: Yes, I go out with the girls, but am always open to the possibility of meeting a guy. If a guy wants to talk to me, he should just come over and say something like, I noticed you and think you are very good looking. I wont give a guy time of day if he tries to use a cheesy pick up line. The first thing I notice about a guy is his shoulders, then I look up up and check out his smile. I like a guy who has a bit of an edge, a cocky side. If I am interested in a man, it is all about the eye contact. She didn't comment on #7.

Note: Some of the things I have read say the approach Karen described is the worst thing to do. They get that constantly, especially if they are attractive and you are feeding their ego. Other women such as Karen apparently appreciates this simple approach.

Allie: Mid twenties, pretty cute. Said she is open to meeting guys when they are out. As far as the approach, said a guy should buy me and my friends a drink and come over and say hello. "It is very shady if a guy hovers around, and seems to be following me around in the location without approaching. I notice the way a man is dressed, starting from his shoes and looking up to his shirt. He should be well groomed. #5 did not answer. The guy will get major eye contact if I am interested. #7 did not answer.

Note: I have read mixed reviews on this whole buying the girl a drink as the first approach. For some women, it is a total turnoff because it sends the signal you are trying to buy them.

Erica & Friends: Probably the most attractive women in the bar. We have all seen this before where they are the only ones on the dance floor and are dancing very sexy together. They threw their purses on the floor and were dancing together around them.

I eventually approached Erica who said "this is a girls night out" and I won't give any guy the time of day, even though I am single. Buy me a drink? Nope, a total turnoff! When I mentioned to her that I also run singles events, her eyes got wide and said "Me and my friend will go", but we are not paying. You want to have us there, it will make you look good. I responded jokingly that if they wanted to attend, they would have to pay double, just for the guys having to put up with them. She smiled and walked away. About ten minutes she stopped me as I was walking by and said that I could be pretty sure that she would be coming to an event soon. While we were talking the second time, she had somehow leaned over and brushed her boob against my arm for about 5 or 10 seconds.
Note on body language: Ok, the boob thing seemed pretty innocent and not intentional. However the material I read last week said that women know specifically what they are doing with respect to any body contact and a woman "accidentally" brushing a body part against yours is no accident. Ladies, what is the answer here?