Long Island, the land of beaches, bagels, and Billy Joel, always leads to some amusing conversations when people find out you're a proud Long Islander. Here are ten humorous and sometimes predictable responses that Long Islanders often encounter.
"Say 'caw-fee!'"
Long Islanders are no strangers to their distinctive accent, especially when it comes to pronouncing "coffee" as "caw-fee." It's as if our vocal cords have taken a detour to Brooklyn before settling down on Long Island. We’ve perfected the art of ordering coffee with an accent that's also part New York, part bird squawk. It's like our secret initiation into the caffeinated club. So, yeah, we're pretty fluent in "caw-fee" language.
"I could never drive in a city!”
Long Island is not the city. Not even close. We get it. Long Island might be just a stone's throw away from the Big Apple, but it's a world apart. We have wide roads, tranquil neighborhoods, and actual parking spots. Long Island is our sanctuary away from the city madness, where we can navigate traffic without breaking a sweat. You won't find skyscrapers here, but we've got plenty of space to park our minivans, thank you very much.
"Is that like Staten Island?"
Again, not the city. Oh, Staten Island, our misunderstood cousin from the city. We may share some similarities, we're a unique breed. Think of Staten Island as the cousin who dabbles in city life, while Long Island is the cousin who spends weekends at the beach, rocking flip-flops and sunscreen.
"Do you know... fill in the blank (LI Medium, Amy Fisher... their cousin from Massapequa)."
Long Island has seen its fair share of famous faces and infamous stories, but sorry to disappoint, not every Long Islander is rubbing elbows with them. Unless we're clairvoyant or have a direct line to the paparazzi, we probably don't know your aunt's best friend's hairstylist who went to school with Long Island Medium's nephew.
"Billy Joel is from LI!”
Really? You don't say! Hold on to your seats, folks, because it's true! Billy Joel, the Piano Man himself, is a Long Island legend. Our local pride swells whenever we hear him on the radio. He's our musical hero, and we never miss an opportunity to let everyone know about it. Billy Joel, the piano maestro and Long Island's unofficial soundtrack, is practically our patron saint. We may have an entire playlist dedicated to his greatest hits, and yes, we've been known to burst into song when "Piano Man" comes on. We're not shy about our Billy Joel love affair—it's like a musical rite of passage for all Long Islanders.
"Lawn Guy land" LOL…”
Yeah, that's how we say it! Welcome to the land of meticulously maintained lawns and perfectly trimmed hedges. Long Island's reputation as "Lawn Guy land" is no joke. We take our landscaping seriously, as if our lawns have their own red carpet events. Just don't ask us about our secret fertilizer formula. We may or may not have secret lawn competitions where we silently judge our neighbors' grass length. Welcome to "Lawn Guy land," where lawns are manicured to perfection, and the sound of mowing becomes our unofficial anthem. It's a suburban utopia, one blade of grass at a time. And yes, that’s how we pronounce it. Get over it. The joke isn't funny anymore.
"Do you eat a lot of pizza?"
Yes! Pizza is our sacred offering to the food gods on Long Island. We have an unwritten law that requires us to devour delicious slices on a regular basis. We've perfected the art of foldable slices, mouthwatering toppings, and that perfect ratio of cheese to sauce. Pizza is our love language, and we're fluent in the dialect of pepperoni and extra cheese. It's practically our civic duty to indulge in this cheesy delight.
"Do you eat a lot of bagels?”
Also yes. Long Island bagels are the best!
"So you live in Long Island?
Arrrgggghhh No, I live on Long Island! It's a battle cry we've learned to master. We don't just live "in" Long Island; we proudly reside "on" it.. We're surrounded by miles of breathtaking beaches, salty air, and endless opportunities to perfect our beach bum status. So, prepare for correction when you make the cardinal mistake of saying "in" instead of "on."
"You must go to the beach a lot.”
Yeah. It’s our second home and the ultimate escape from the daily grind. It's where we go to relax, soak up vitamin D, fish, surf and perfect our sandcastle-building skills. Long Islanders practically have sand in their DNA. We know the best beaches like the back of our hand and have a knack for finding the perfect spot, even on the busiest summer days. Going to the beach isn't just a hobby; it's our way of life.
Next time you meet a Long Islander, feel free to share a laugh or two about these ten entertaining topics that come up when the island is mentioned. Just remember, it's "caw-fee," not "coffee," and we live "on" Long Island, basking in the sun and devouring a bagel and “caw-fee” on our way to the beach.