See, this is what I don't understand. Almost any girl I know, myself included, wants to meet a man that they can talk to. That they can relate to. That they can trust and build a bond with. And yet when we find that typical "Nice Guy" who has a ton of qualities we want and who has good physical appeal, we act like a bunch of silly little girls and run away. Because god forbid we allow our selves to like a man who is actually worth our time.
Case in point. A friend of mine and myself both have a typical guy that we like. 6' and taller, muscular arms, nice broad shoulders, I like em blonde-ish, she prefers brunettes, and nice eyes. A good personality is key and a nice smile to go with a good laugh. And we find these men, but the problem is once we find em, we soon enough find out that they're not necessarilly the greatest in the world.
Not that they're complete schmucks, but i'll be the first to admit that physically, i'm not usually that guys type of girl. My friend is, but me - for some reason I always get cast in the role of friend - hey, what can you do.
So we'll meet these guys and instantly its a physical thing. And more often then not there's never anything there. Sure they can flatter you all you want but over time you realize that its in your best intrest to get dis-involved with this guy, but you can't. You can't let go because you're intrigued.
But when you meet the nice guy you're instantly afraid he'll hurt you and all your defensive walls go up - up so high that even Rapunzel letting down her hair couldn't help this poor man. And I'm so tired of hearing the old phrase "nice guys finish last" but i'm starting to believe its true.
I took inventory of the men i've dated, men i've been in actual relationships with, and men i've slept with - and let me tell you, besides being really scarry and somewhat disturbing, I noticed that I got attached to the ones who I never should have - and pushed away 3 guys who to this day, if I could do it all over again, or even start new tomorrow - would change it all in a heartbeat.
I guess thats the thing about age - you gain perspective. Now if I would have listened to people older than me when I was growing up I might have realized this, but i've always been stubborn and pigheaded, so why stop now when its worked for so long?
Being single though works for most girls. this day in age its all about independance and being self-aware and self-preserved. But when do all these games between people stop? I may sound corny and straight out of 1955 but I always thought by 24 i'd be married, with at least 1 kid and to be honest - its kind of depressing not being in that life.
But then there's that part of me that relishes in the fact that I can come and go and do as I please with my friends or whomever when I want, but in the end we all have to grow up sometime. We have to move away from silly dreams and dead end crushes that will only make you even more jaded over time.
So what can you do? Move on, move up, move away? Or finally just realize that you can have the fairytale, you just have to be willing to let the real Prince Charming play the role, and not the one who only looks the part.
As always, email me with any comments, questions or rants!