See when you're with somebody, and you're not in a relationship - but you're more than 'friends' - there is this crazy fine line.
You see, I have always been one of those "Get what you need and get out" style of women. For me it was almost always about the 'ass'. Now that may make me sound like a hussy, but its all good. I'm never shy about my sex life, or my sexual conquests so to speak. The way I view it is that i'm just a strong, independant woman who is assertive, knows what she wants and goes for it. Nothing wrong with that.
But every now and again even a stong woman gets caught up in the pettiness of being a 'girly girl'. You know that diesease that makes you terrirotial and vengeful towards other women who dare to even lay eyes on your 'territory'. Because in an essance, thats what a man is to a women. A territory that we have claimed. A prize - a trophy even. And other women can smell that scent a mile away. Some women (I myself have been included on this this one in the past) love that whole forbidden fruit cliche. Its true - you always want what you can't have.
Now you're in this pseudo-relationship with a guy, who quite honestly is someone you genuinely care about. You spend a lot of time together, you've gotten to know each other well inside and out, but there is no committment. No problem if you talk to someone else, or hang out with someone else. But you have both admitted to having feelings for the other person. You are both comfortable with the way everything is and the pace that it is going.
But since there is no committment, why is there jealousy? Because its not like you lay claim to them in any way, but when the person you're 'with' is talking to someone else, or eyeing someone else, it creeps up on you (or atleast me). This overwhelming feeling of "What is that all about?" Usually though this doesn't take place with the other person in plain view. However, it happens. And when it does it takes alot for you to check your anger and just let it go.
Because who are you to say who they can and can't talk to. Who are you to be upset and mad? That's is something reserved for relationships, not casual friends who have a great time together and hook up sort of thing. Or atleast, its not suppossed to be right?
How the hell did the girl with no emotions finally develop some? Damned if i know...