When your a child, you never stop and think about the fact that someday you will have kids of your own, and you will have to be the parent. When your a child and especially a teenager you only think about the moment, and even then sometimes you aren't even thinking of that, at least that is the only way to explain some of the dumb things teenagers do.
I know when I was a kid, I did every bad thing I thought I could get away with and then some, and believe me I never stopped once to think about how my parents felt about it, or how it affected them. But, now that I am the parent let me tell you every bad thing I ever did, haunts me, especially now that I have a teenager and another one close behind.
Every party I went to, when I wasn't supposed to, every drink I had before I was of drinking age, every class at school that I skipped without giving it a second thought, and every stupid move I made, even though my parents told me it was the wrong thing to do, flashes through my mind every time my daughter leaves the house.
When she walks out at night to go to the movies with friends, I remember what I did when I went out at night with my friends as a teenager and I get chills. Every time she goes to a party at a friends house, I shiver to remember the things I did at teenage house parties. I guess this is what they call what goes around comes around for parents.
Suddenly, I feel like I should spend the rest of my life apologizing to my parents, suddenly I feel guilty about everything I did behind their backs, and feel I should confess all my dark deeds, to cleanse my parental soul.
I am sure my parents however, are sitting back having the time of their lives, watching me now go through what they did when I was a child, and slowly realizing what a pain in the butt I was. I can picture them sitting in bed at night getting a good laugh thinking about the trouble I may be having with my teenager.
Of course, I should have seen this coming. Bill Cosby always said in his routines that the parents that come to see his kids, are not the people he grew up with. I now see grand parenting is the prize you win for not killing your children when they were teenagers.
So I guess I have to sit back and wait for my time to come. Meanwhile, here I sit while my daughter is out yet again, wondering what she is doing and hoping it doesn't come close to anything I did.
Losing the control you have over your children when they are young is a hard thing to come to terms with. Allowing them to make their own choices and decisions is harder than all the nights you sat up when they were sick. It is so hard to see your children as people let alone as adults. I wonder if that ever goes away. Who knows, guess I will find out when I call my parents today to again apologize for ever being a teenager, third time this week.