Ok, so once again I'm back for another exciting installment of - WHY ME?!
No really. I've been getting questions from friends, family, co-workers and some e-mails (notice the some part) concerning different subjects. So I thought where better to tackle the answers than here. Ok for starters let me just say listening to my advice is helpful - but don't blame me if it works! (That was a joke..ha ha?)
Ok so First question was "What role does age play?" (A question from a few sources) Well when you're younger it plays a big part. When I was 15 I 'dated' a 21 year old. I've always been into older guys but for my parents it was too much. They would say things like "What does a 21 year old possibly have in common with a 15 year old" and though I knew the answer was 'NOTHING' I persisted in telling them that we 'loved' each other. Eventually we broke up. But now if I dated a man who was 27 or even 29 my parents wouldn't have a problem.
I guess the age old question is (pun intended) "Why?" I have guy friends that are 19-25 and seem to date only girls in High School (or just out of). That is not ok. Because girls at that age are usually thinking 'love and marriage' and guys that age are thinking 'where's the nearest empty parking lot'. Plus a lot of times younger girls date older guys so they can seem cooler - and in reality (though they'll never say it) older guys date younger girls for the same reasons. So try to stay near your age bracket. If you're 17-20 date someone your own age so you can do stuff TOGETHER. If you're 21-30 there are a whole other set of rules that for other people's sake I can not write down here.
Ok, Second question - (I recieved this one via e-mail) What was my worst Valentine's day. My worst V-Day is every year, because believe it or not, I have never had a Valentine so I have never spent it with someone. Nor have I ever recieved flowers, chocolates, been taken out to diner, etc. So that's where my 'bitterness' comes from (or at least a form of it)
Third question - (I recieved this one via e-mail) "How do I know when to take it to the next level? Me and my boyfriend have been dating for several months and I think I'm ready. -M"
The Taboo of all words...intercourse. Now I'm not a doctor, and certainly not a trained individual on this matter. However this is what I can tell you - if intercourse is what you're refering to (and it seems to be) than you need to do a lot of investigating before acting. First things first - USE PROTECTION!!!!! I cannot stress enough about protection. If this is your first time (though you may be nervous) TALK TO YOUR PARENTS as well. You might be a little uncomfortable doing so however you'd be suprised how easy parents are to talk to about this. Also check with your physician and make an appointment at a OBGYN. They can give you all that you need and tell you all the side effects as well.
If you're uncomfortable talking to your parents try another adult or someone you can trust. Planned Parenthood of Long Island now has Gynocologists and free 'packets' providing you with condoms, pamhlets, etc. Did you know that 1 out of 4 people has a Sexually Transmitted Disease. That's a scary number. And please make sure you've completely thought about this.
Like I said I'm not an expert but I do know one thing. Intercourse is not something to be entered into lightly. It actually takes a lot of planning. Also another key point is that if either you OR your partner has been sexually active EVER - get a screening from a doctor or local clinic. Condoms are effective but they're not 100% effective.
Well, thats my advice for now. Keep those questions coming and I'll talk to you all soon. Oh by the way - things with that guy I mentioned last time are looking up!