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The Kiss Goodbye

So my son turned 2 in February. One of the reasons that I think two-year-olds are referred to as "terrible" is because they are still babies, in much bigger bodies, and wanting desperately to become ...

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So my son turned 2 in February. One of the reasons that I think two-year-olds are referred to as "terrible" is because they are still babies, in much bigger bodies, and wanting desperately to become independent. My son is no exception.

This morning I went up to Luc who was getting ready to leave with Alison, my sitter, to give him a little hug. He pushed me away. This weekend was rough for me. Luc asserted his independence by not wanting me to do anything for him. It always had to be Daddy. I kept reminding myself that it was a good thing to love his Daddy so much. I admit, it was still tough to deal with him not wanting me at all. So when I went up to him and tried to hug him goodbye and he pushed me away I just felt like crying.

Last week I thought I'd see how he would like going to a daycare place for a few hours since he's becoming more and more interactive with other children. We walked into the room and he immediately took off seeing the kids and toys. I stood there and thought, "wow... this is easy." I discussed the particulars (diaper change, sunscreen, when I'd be back) with the teacher/guardian (just how old is this girl anyway?) and decided to leave. I stood by the door, "Luc! Luc! I'm leaving now... Luc! Did you hear me? I'm going." He didn't even bother to look up. I didn't want him to come out of his play-trance and wonder where the heck I was so I walked over to him and whispered, "Luc, Mommy's leaving now. I'll be back in a while. Okay?" He didn't look up and just said, "bye."

I love how independent he is. I love that he is so strong and confident in a new environment full of new people that he'll just walk in and start playing. At playgrounds I'll point out kids to Luc and whisper to him, "go tell that little boy/girl 'hi, I'm Luc' and see if they want to play." He always runs right up to them with a grin and points to the middle of his chest and announces with authority, "LUC!"

He has his jacket on and is standing by the door waiting for Alison. One last feeble attempt by me while pouring my second cup of coffee, "Luc, can I have a kiss goodbye?" He shook his head and authoritatively said, "No." I stirred the coffee and put the milk away. Alison puts on her jacket and says, "okay, I'll call you when we get there. We'll see you later." Without looking up I said, "Okay Alison."

Just then, Luc turns from the door and yells, "KISS!" With a big grin he runs to me with his arms open and smashes his little face into mine. I kissed him and immediately felt a lump in my throat.

How did he know I needed that so much?

2000, Claudine M. Jalajas, all rights reserved

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