By Jay Rosensweig,
Weekenddating.com a/k/a Speed Dating Long Island
I was talking with a female friend this week about a few of her recent dating
experiences and it seemed like a good thing to share with you all.
*Date with Bobby
- started out very good and she seemed to
really enjoy his company until.....the end of the night when the check came
after dinner. Bobby complained about how much the bill was and asked her to pay
for half. Bobby is not getting a second date. My friend said "he picked the
place and if it was too expensive, we should not have gone there."
*Date with Charlie
- also started out great and everything
flowed nicely over dinner. "I really liked him.....until the end of the night
when he really blew it. After dinner we left the restaurant and it was pretty
late. His car was parked out in front and mine was way in the back. He didn't
offer to walk me to my car! It was late, dark and nobody was around." As far as
a second date goes, Charlie may still get a second date. My friend is a little
hesitant but liked him enough to give it another chance.
So what else can someone do to turn off the opposite sex? Here is what
Complaining is a major turn-off. Had a few good dates
til we went to movies. He complained about long line at ticket booth and then to
enter theatre. "Oh, come on!" was the line of the night. If you can't handle the
minor frustration of waiting a few minutes for a movie, how impatient will he be
with major events. Time to move on.
Complaining about how expensive "things" are...that is,
the price of gas these days...who cares...we all know this by now. Does a woman
need to hear this on a date? Especially when a man is picking her up and
driving? It's so insensitive and foolish on any man's part. Also, a major
blunder is to invite yourself into someone else's home. You simply do not do
that. It's inappropriate and rude and stepping over the line, and making the
other person uncomfortable by imposing yourself like that. There is nothing
worse that a man or woman that is CHEAP!
i have mixed fellings about the end of dinner check
thing TOO MANY!! WOMEN NOW A DAYS JUST EXPECT THE GUY TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING I
THINK THATS IS RUDE ON THE WOMENS PART!, GRANTED I WOULD NEVER TAKE A WOMENS
MONEY ON A DATE BUT I DO GET ANNOYED WHEN THEY DONT OFFER!! ITS CALLED HAVING
MANNERS AND CLASS
Just for the record.... NO WAY SHOULD CHARLIE BE GIVEN
A SECOND CHANCE!!!!!! He absolutely should have walked his date to her car!
I agree...give Charlie HIS walking papers. Big mistake
on Charlie's part...yes. I am sure it is unintentional--but if the woman dating
Charlie is expecting someone who is sensitive, and thinks ahead and innately
does the right thing, she is going to be disappointed, if such a simple gesture
is an oversight on Charlie's part--and so soon too. How a man or woman behaves
early on--upon meeting them is a great indicator of what lies ahead. Actually,
when a person shows their colors right away, it's great, since it saves the
other person the time and effort by letting them know who they really are,
rather than put on some saint act.
Sorry to the person who felt it was "rude" of a woman
not to offer to pay for dinner, but you are wrong about that. Whether it is the
man or the woman who does the asking, the polite thing is that if you invite
someone on a date, you should expect to pay and not expect them to pay their own
way. That is the classy way to behave. We are talking about dates that are early
in a relationship, so unless you make it clear in your invitation that it is "dutch
treat," you should expect to pick up the check. Once you are a "couple," it
shouldn't matter so much who pays, and before that, there should be some
reciprocating of invitations, but in general, the person who asks should expect
to pay. If you want to go someplace expensive but don't have the money to
"treat" your date, it is okay to suggest going together if you make it clear in
advance that you need to split the costs. But you just don't ask a new person
out to dinner, or anything else, then expect them to offer to pay for their own
way. That is rude.
to the person who made the last blog about guys paying
the bill. I GUESS U JUST DONT GET THE PRINCIPLE IT IS RUDE "JUST TO EXPECT A GUY
TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING" ON A DATE. NOTICE THE WQRD EXPECT , I GUESS U FELL MEN
OWE U SOMETHING!!!
I am 34 and believe it or not, If i asked a woman to go
out to dinner with me, I personally already know that I am going to be paying
for the dinner simply because I invited that person along. If she offers to pay,
i would simply say,"No I got it..It was my treat, but if you want you can treat
me to a soda on our next outing". Try that. If she suggested going out to
dinner, then maybe ask what she had in mind and say "Dutch or you wanna take
turns"...this at least can get you a 2nd date.lol, Who knows?
I agree with Nahshon...and the others that posted the
concept of the "person that EXTENDS the invitation should have the common
courtesy to pay"...and not take money from the person THEY invited. To the GUY
that wrote--it is rude for a woman to EXPECT. How do you know--what that woman
is expecting? You invited her! If ultimately, you are the only one initiating
plans, and picking up the tab, and you are in a more serious long-term situation
with her--yes, I would agree it is one-sided and that this woman gives off that
illusion of "entitlement"--which is not attractive. But initially, when you are
getting to know someone, and YOU are the one inviting someone...it is very
pathetic to take money from a woman OR a man. I know, when it comes to treating
a man out (I am a woman)--I take care of everything, the check, the tip, and
anything else involved.
Please email me if you have some other things to add to the list.