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Does Your Marriage often feel like Re-runs or Instant Replays?

LongIsland.com

Does Your Marriage often feel like Re-runs or Instant Replays? Maybe it's time to switch the channel. What happens when the dishes are left in the sink instead of being put in the dishwasher? The ...

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Does Your Marriage often feel like Re-runs or Instant Replays? Maybe it's time to switch the channel.

What happens when the dishes are left in the sink instead of being put in the dishwasher? The garbage is not taken out?
What happens when relatives come before golf, or visa versa?
What happens when work seems more important than family?
What happens when he forgets your birthday?
What happens when she spends too much on the charge cards?
What happens when you don't see eye to eye regarding disciplining your children? Homework? Allowance? The messy rooms?
What happens when you don't feel appreciated?
What happens when the sex is only so-so? When there isn't even a little touching or physical affection?

I will tell you what happens.....but perhaps you should tell me.

One thing couples report is the difficulty bringing up most subjects and having a satisfying feeling when the conversation is over.

There is usually some anger, some defensiveness, some frustration, some apology maybe, but very little satisfaction.

Which is the major cause of not wanting to talk about things in the first place.

And very little faith that the conversation that just happened will have a lasting effect. That's the most frustrating part of it.

It often seems like watching re-runs, or instant replays.

If issues could be brought up and talked about, even if not resolved, at least have a good feeling about their eventual resolution, people would be happy to enter into dialogues with one another.

The question is, "Is it hard to learn how to communicate effectively?"

The answer is NO. It is very simple.

Swinging a baseball bat is very simple. Hitting the ball requires what?

A little practice. If you swing and miss and throw the bat away - guess what? You'll never learn to hit the ball.

Would you agree that your marriage deserves a little more patience and effort than learning to swing a bat, or a golf club, or tennis racquet, or just about anything else?

Good.

What is it that makes people go out and try to learn new things and be willing to make perfect fools out of themselves for a while.

You got it - their vision. They have decided that in time they will enjoy the fruits of their trials, and are willing to "temporarily" fail.

You have a vision. To have an ExtraOrdinay Marriage. Maybe you forgot.

At least that is what you had the day you said 'YES'. For better or worse, in sickness or health....." It was beautiful.

Then what happened?

You swung the bat a coupe of times and missed. You threw the bat down. And although you may not have thrown it away, you are weary of the bat. You remember how it felt to miss and you blame the bat.

Professional baseball players make millions of dollars because they are so good at swinging the bat - how good? Well the really good ones only miss 2 out of 3 times. That's considered very good.

And yet! They have coaches who constantly watch the way they swing, constantly have them practicing, constantly correcting.

Why? Because baseball is important.

Your marriage?

Do you have a coach? What does he/she have you practice?

Are you willing to be corrected? To invest time into a vision called - "Having an ExtraOrdinary Marriage", which you deserve and can have with a little practice.

Or you think because you watched mom and dad and decided you knew how to do it better, therefore you qualify to be a professional.

After all they gave you a license.

Your right, men are a bit more resistant to marriage enrichment, but give him this analogy and he'll get it.

Get yourself into some good workshops and see your relationship blossom. And do you know who will benefit the most? Your children. They will see how a good marriage is supposed to work. They will have healthier role models to emulate.

Last but not least, whatever you learn will transform all your relationships - with other family members, friends, at work, etc.

Your life will begin to PURRR like a smooth running engine.