So what is it? What is it that makes people click and fall in love and decide to commit to one another for the rest of their lives and know that they could never be without that person again? And if someone could tell me where to find it...I would greatly appreciate it.
This past weekend I had not 1 but 2 Bridal Showers for my two cousins. The one on Saturday was for my cousin Vanessa. She's 25 and a school teacher and engaged to a hell of a guy. They're getting married July 30th and I couldn't be happier for her and him. They compliment each other so well and I know that they will last.
Sunday's shower was for my cousin Tricia. She is 27 and married the love of her life in a beautiful ceremony on the beaches of Tortolla down in the British Virgin Islands on the 27th of May. The same anniversary of my parents who hit 26 years on that day. Their entire wedding was untraditional and so she had no expectations of a shower which made it even better.
And then there is my cousin Erica. Her and I have not gotten along since well...Junior High School and she is 25 as well. Her, myself and Vanessa all grew up together when we were younger and she got married a few months back to a NYPD police officer and now lives in New Jersey with her husband and daughter from a previous relationship.
Then there's my cousin Denise. Denise got married last April to someone she met and they are one of the happiest couples I've ever seen. She is also 27.
Then there is me. I'm 25 and now I'm it. I'm the sole single gal left in a group of cousins. And quite honestly it sucks, and its amazing all at the same time. See my cousin Vanessa and I were talking Sunday at Tricia's shower. Her and her husband have decided to wait 5 years before they are going to have children so they can travel first. She relayed that it must be nice for me to travel as much as I do and see as much as I do and experience as much as I do.
Yet I can't help but to want what she has. Someone to travel with and experience those things with so that way years down the road we can look at pictures together and think back on memories we created - together.
Its awkward for me sometimes being the 'Singles Expert' because sadly I feel as if I'll always be single. Vanessa tells me that there's someone for everyone, and I find myself wondering if the person that was my someone has already come and gone, or if they're just playing a really good game of Hide and Seek. But I enjoy my freedom and my ability to come and go as I please and pick up and travel on the drop of the dime even if I don't have the money to do it. Because I'm gaining experiences and doing things I'll never be able to do again.
I've always tried to live my life with that mentality of 'Carpe Diem' because one day I will find someone and I will settle down and I will have kids. And then I won't be able to just go at will to see the Dave Matthews Band all over the country because one of my kids will need braces, and the Mortgage will need to be paid and I'll have to make sure the electricity stays on. So in that respect I'm content with my life.
But everytime I go to a wedding and realize that I'm Nicole E + Guest, I feel as if eternally it will say "Guest" and never a name of someone else. And that makes me sad, because I don't want a guest in my life - I want a permanent resident.