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Nice Guy or Bad Boy? What do women really want?

By Jay Rosensweig, a/k/a Long Island Speed Dating I just came back from having a drink with two very attractive female friends, Jessica and Susan, who are both single wome

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By Jay Rosensweig, a/k/a Long Island Speed Dating

I just came back from having a drink with two very attractive female friends, Jessica and Susan, who are both single women on Long Island.

While watching football, the conversation revolved around what women want in a man, the "nice guy" or the "bad boy."

Susan said "all women will say that they want a nice guy, but the truth is that they really want the bad boy. We are just wired for that." Shortly after a "bad boy type" walked by and Jessica perked up in her seat as if she saw some candy. She then showed me some pictures of her ex and a guy she is kind of dating. Once again they had that "bad boy look."

So the crux of the conversation was that women will say they want a nice guy, and they do, but not always. They want a challenge, and want a man to put them in their place at times. They do not want a doormat. I have found that very attractive women seem to pick the bad boy at the

Long Island Speed Dating Events

that I coordinate.

Next I asked women on my mailing list what they thought about this, and was surprised that the majority of them agreed. Here is what they said:

Comment: 1

I always thought I wanted a nice guy but I have to tell you, I honestly believe now that I don't. Every time I meet a nice guy I find something about him that turns me off. I fully believe that I like the challenge of a bad boy and that the nice guy just makes it easy and uneventful if that makes any sense. I've dated this wonderful man about 3 times now and he couldn't be any nicer but...So, I totally agree with your friend Susan who feels that all women think they want a nice guy but the truth is we don't.

Comment: 2

I think it depends on the age bracket. Younger women(and men)enjoy the 'thrill of the chase'. We all want something(or someone) we can't have. When we reach a maturity level, we realize that we do want a 'nice guy' someone we can hang with without the continued frustration that the 'bad boys' can bring. So all you 'nice guys' hang in there. One thing though....there is a difference between 'nice guy'and 'nerd'. We don't want to have to dress you and tell you how to act.or be embarrassed to be with you because you don't think it's important to change your shirt after three days...Men are choosier than women when it comes to this, but we have our limits too.

Comment: 3

Your story was funny Jay, lol. I think women do respect men who stand up to them and don't just want a "yes dear" type. They don't necessarily want a bum or an abuser, not sure what "bad boy" implies, but they do want a man to take charge now and then and not just go along with their agenda. A man with a plan is very sexy, but a guy who is too agreeable can be boring. I think this is because woman work in higher pressure jobs these days and have to make a lot of decisions, so they don't want to have to call all the shots in their personal lives as well. I think a guy can be nice without being a pushover. Either way, I think there still must be a little attraction, no matter how nice or challenging the guy is in order for it to work out.

Comment: 4

I dated a "nice guy". He still professes his love for me. He was so nice & predictable that it became boring. I recently dated a "bad boy". He was a biker & a risk taker. He was undependable & unpredictable, but was surely exciting! I enjoyed my summer with him, but knew he was not someone I wanted to spend my life with. It would have brought heartache & pain. I'm still confused as to why I was attracted to him. I think it must be true that we really want the challenge of the bad boy!!!

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Long Island Dating & Singles Blog.