Is Someone You Know Holding You Back?

Written by organizing  |  02. October 2005

It is unfortunate, but sometimes in life when we try to improve ourselves, there is someone who may try to hold us back. It can be a friend, family member, child or worst of all, our spouse or partner. Our "other half" is supposed to be our biggest supporter but in some situations this is not the case. I have seen this most commonly when one partner in a relationship would like to lose weight. While the other person would like their partner to look better, be healthier and feel better about themselves, there still may be that small part of them that is worried. Worried about what will happen if their partner loses weight and how the rest of the world will react to them. Well, not to get too psychological but the problem is coming from within the spouse and their own insecurity. But if you are the person who is trying to improve yourself, you cannot let this hold you back. The same is true for organizing. Your partner may complain about the disorder that is occurring in the household but when it comes time that you are ready to make the change, you may find they don't want that either. Because for them, the change does not only mean the house will be in order. It means that you have made a huge change in your life and if you can do that, what other great things can you accomplish? And will they get left behind because of your newfound empowerment? Again, not your problem. Well, partly your problem because they are your significant other and their feelings do matter and play a part in your relationship. However, if you are ready to make a change in your life--any change--and your partner does not support you 100%, it may be time to look into counseling to help both of you through this. I have seen many situations where one or both partners are the hindrance. Couples who blame each other for the disorder, one partner who says they cannot organize because the other will not allow them to, one partner saying the other will never be able to do it or maintain it. What I tell people is very simple: The past is the past. It doesn't matter how you got to this point, what matters from here on in is the present and future. What matters is getting organized and learning how to keep it that way so you can maintain in the future. That's it. If people are going to spend all of their time placing blame or making excuses, then I tell it to them straight. I am here to help them improve, not to point fingers and I will not allow the blame game if you work with me. So if there is someone in your life that is holding you back from becoming more organized but at the same time blaming you for the disorder, then it may be time to call in a couple of professionals. An organizer to help you organize your home and a therapist to help you work through those issues. Improving yourself in any way is always a wonderful thing and should be bring happiness, not stress, to your relationships.

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